Have you ever felt like the dumbest person in the world?
I felt like that today. Like I just couldn't do anything right, and everything that came out of my mouth was idiotic. Maybe it was the heat, or maybe I'm finally seeing the light... I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed.
Sometimes, I'd like to really know what people think of me, but I actually think I'm afraid to know. What if, my whole life, people have been lying to me? Telling me they "think I'm cool" and "Oh, Janelle you're so funny" but the truth of the matter is, no one has ever really liked me at all? I mean, sometimes I look in the mirror and stand there and wonder why anyone would ever want to be friends or even associate with me.
Random thoughts. I'm not depressed or anything, I was just wondering about this. I mean, is there anyone who is truly, really honest with you about everything? I love it when people are honest with me, even if it hurts. I feel like I can improve if I know what's wrong with me. I know that sometimes, I'll say something and wish I could take it back right away. I try to make it better by saying something else, but that makes it worse. And sometimes, I don't feel like some people really know me. Or at least they aren't getting to know the person I want them to know.
Ah, life and all of it's... questions.
