Battle of the Eyelids

Welcome to the Sabbath Day.

I am sitting in this desk chair, struggling against the battle of the eye lids. I think we are just about tied right now, but they are truly putting up a fight. To that, I must give them credit where credit is due.

At any rate... besides being supremely exhausted (which is my own fault. I knew I had to be up at 6, but I still chose to not go to bed till 1. For shame), I'm very excited! I've been searching high and low for a good internship for next summer. And look at what God did? He got me one for this summer with a brand-new magazine. It's an online version (for now), and it's just what I was looking for. I'm so excited to see what happens with it, because to me it seems like a very good idea! It launches in the fall, so look for it. (I'll tell you more as it progresses).

As the battle of the eye lid's rages on . . .

I will probably write something again when I have an epiphany or something. :)

God Has Not Abandoned You

Two days in a row! Yeah! Whose the boss! Haha.

Do you ever feel like God has abandoned you? I personally have never felt like that, but many many times, I feel like I have abandoned God. I do wonder why He brought me where I am, or what he expects me to do with my life, but I've never felt like I couldn't turn to Him. That may be because I have yet to experience anything Earth shatteringly traumatic, but then again, I feel that if I did, it would only make me turn to God more. I tend to do that when I'm having a mental break down. I search the Bible and God for comfort, and I usually find it.

I don't have much to add to that, so here are some song lyrics to lift you up, :)

Classic Jeremy Camp song, holds beautiful truth that we all need to continue to remember.

I Still Believe

Scattered words and empty thoughts
Seem to pour from my heart
I've never felt so torn before
Seems I don't know where to start

But it's now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

'Cause I still believe in Your faithfulness
'Cause I still believe in Your truth
'Cause I still believe in Your Holy Word
Even when I don't see, I still believe

Though the questions still fog up my mind
With promises I still seem to bear
For even when answers slowly unwind
It's my heart I see You prepare

But it's now that I feel Your grace fall like rain
From every fingertip washing away my pain

'Cause I still believe in Your faithfulness
'Cause I still believe in Your truth
'Cause I still believe in Your Holy Word
Even when I don't see, I still believe

Well the only place I can go is into Your arms
Where I throw to You my feeble prayers
Well in brokenness I can see that this is Your will for me
Well help me to know that You are near

'Cause I still believe in Your faithfulness
'Cause I still believe in Your truth
'Cause I still believe in Your Holy Word
Even when I don't see, 'cause I still believe

'Cause I still believe
'Cause I still believe
I still believe, I still believe

Well I still believe
I still believe
I still believe

In This Day to Day

Someone asked me today what I wanted to be remembered as . . . (Ok that wasn't the exact question, but that was the main gist of it, and they weren't just asking me, but you get the point) . . .

Obviously, most people don't want to get recognized for anything negative (unless they are a crazy in the brain). Most people want to be remembered as givers, as comedians, and friends. A lot of people want to be remembered for what they've done, some for who they are. I said that I wanted to be remembered as someone who made people laugh and feel good, and someone who was a giver. But I wonder if I'm actually living that everyday? If we stopped and thought about our actions throughout our day, how we interact with those around us, would we be pleased? Would the last words that come out of our mouths define us? Or would they just be ... meaningless?

I don't mean we always have to talk philosophically and speak to impress, but, I think that we should be more conscientious about our daily legacy. I mean, it's good to consider the big picture, consider what our overall world impression will be, but I think our daily legacy is our ultimate legacy. When you walk away from someone, from a conversation or a situation, how does the other person feel?

I want my day to day legacy to be . . . amazing. I've never been that conscientious of it, but now I really wanna try to be. I want people to walk away from me feeling uplifted, not deflated. I want to put a smile on someone's face with my attitude, with my actions, with my overall attitude. I may not do that now, but maybe I should try.

So, what's your day to day legacy? Are you going to live the way you want to be remembered, or are you only living for the moment?

Just A Thought

I'm trying to blog everyday. Apparently it will help my future career. Here's hoping!

Anyway, I'm reading the book "The Purpose Driven Life." (I know, a little late since it's been a best seller for a third of an eternity) Someone told me that this book was only for people who were "like atheist or not christian or something. Not for someone who has been raised in the church." End quote. I was so... surprised when this person said that. But then again, I wasn't really surprised. Christians think that once they become Christian, or they have been raised Christian, they are and have the ultimate authority. I mean, sure, not all of us are like that, but many are, and it can be very irritating, and sad. We are always learning, always growing, always.

Well, like I said, I've been reading this book. And it's really good. It's simple, anyone who is reading it can understand what he is saying, where he is coming from. It really helps you to think practically, and he is always quoting the Bible, showing that what he is saying isn't just coming from him.

I thought I'd share that. I'm trying to blog everyday, I guess so I can just keep a mental record of my life and such (since I am quite sure that no one else reads this, haha). And by the way, I did take the picture above. I thought it was nice, ;)

May God be your strength!

How Deep the Father's Love for Us...

Have you ever really listened to the words of the song "How Deep the Father's Love For Us?" I listen to that song quite often, and today, for whatever reason, it really hit me. I mean, I don't completely get it, but I get it. You know?

None of us truly deserve the intensity of God's love. We may think that we do, by some brave action we've done, or by some good deed we've committed. But, in the larger scope of things, those are so very insignificant to the many many many things we do on a daily basis that do not represent Christ. And yet, even as we sin, even as we go about as if God doesn't exist, He loves us. The painstaking, never-give-up, tough love that we hardly ever acknowledge. It's mind blowing.

Even now, I keep trying to wrap my mind around it and I can't. How can God, who knows that he took the time to create us, mold us and shape us stand by and watch us disown him with our words, with our actions, and not just... strike us down? Is His heart that big? Is His love that strong? What kind of love is that? Can we even call that love? I mean, is there a bigger, stronger, louder, bolder word that can express that kind of love that humanity itself is incapable of? Such a word does not exist. Maybe Jesus will teach it to us in heaven.

I think that God gave us music. And not just any music, but specifically the music of some Christian artists (not all of them...). Sometimes, I'll read the Bible, and I'll be blessed, of course. But then I'll hear a song that talks about almost the same thing, and I'll just sit there in awe. I've got "How Deep The Father's Love For Us" in my head, on repeat right now. It's the version by Phillips, Craig and Dean. I believe this trio is truly ordained by God. The words of the songs that they sing are so powerful, you know? Anyway, here's the words to the song, and a link if you want to have a listen. :)

How deep the Father's love for us,
How vast beyond all measure
That He should give His only Son
To make a wretch His treasure

How great the pain of searing loss,
The Father turns His face away
As wounds which mar the chosen One,
Bring many sons to glory

Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers

It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I knoww that it is finished

I will not boast in anything
No gifts, no power, no wisdom
But I will boast inJesus Christ
His death and resurrection

Why should I gain from His reward?
I cannot give an answer
But this I know with all my heart
His wounds have paid my ransom...

Listen Here.

I may never really get it. The vastness, the depth, of God's love, but I'd like to think that that's ok. I'd like to think that He'll just keep on loving me, even if I don't understand it. :)

Olive Garden Message...

God told me something this week at Olive Garden.

He told me that my priorities were completely out of wack and that I've been serving the wrong person. I've been serving myself, my school work, my need to be constantly entertained. I've been constantly discplining myself to exercise 5 days a week, but I only take out my Bible to read a few times a week. Why is that?

I've made a resolution that no matter what, I MUST read my Bible everyday. God is coming soon. He's so close to being here, and I have to keep asking myself if I'm ready. I want to say I am, but I want to be absolutely sure. I'm not even kidding though, whenever I decide to do this, everything comes up. I know what it is, I know that the devil does not want me to strengthen my relationship with God. I won't give up though. Jesus is worth the fight.

Hey, whenever you need a song to listen to that will inspire you to just turn to God, when your sad, or exhausted, or just feeling plain old weak, listen to these!

Hold Me Now by Kirk Franklin

Great Light of the World by Bebo Norman

Blessed by Rachel Lampa

Be Still And Know by Stephen Curtis Chapman

God Bless and may HE be your number one!

Word to the Exhausted..

Well, I guess now I can say that April is almost over (since it is..), however, I am in a much less nostalgic, "somewhere over the rainbow" sort of mood. If you're a college student and you're reading this, you can probably perfectly understand how I'm feeling. It's the week before finals, and instead of professors lightening the load, the increase it. Yes, they have things a little mentally backwards. At first I thought they desired to kill us mentally so we couldn't enjoy a good summer vacation, but now I've decided to see it in a different light.

I think that they want to try and help us. They want to boost our grades for our sake, and for theirs. Despite what most students think, professors aren't out to watch you fail. It reflects badly on their teaching if all the kids in the class fail. So, maybe, JUST maybe, they give us more work to give that F some of us are sure to get a little extra cushion. At least that's the mindset I hope my teachers are feeling.

Yup, it's warp up time. Students are walking around, eyes glazed over, praying for the end. It's crunch time. Time to take yourself off of cruise control and really beef up your grade as much as possibly for the impending blow.

Alright, maybe not all of us are expecting the worst. There are some who work their tails off all semester and know that they deserve the good grades they get. Kudos to them! Wish I were you! I'm just coasting by at this point, hanging on by a wing and a prayer. Mostly a prayer. My wings are broken and I'm mentally preparing for a crash landing.

Summer, here I come!